


Dear George | dnf

by ataylorc



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, High School, Inspired, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, omg i can't believe i did this in one go, short but sweet, this is nowhere near as good as the one before it, this is so sad fuck, young dream and george
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:29:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28705953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ataylorc/pseuds/ataylorc
Summary: I can't drive past your house anymore.I can never play my favorite song without thinking of you.I nearly threw away the notes you wrote me.I still sleep in the hoodie you gave back to me.I still hear your voice in the traffic.(inspired by Qekyo's "Dear Dream" and Olivia Rodrigo's "driver's license")
Relationships: dreamnotfound - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 66





	Dear George | dnf

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so this was a really spontaneous work that i wrote in one sitting lol
> 
> i truly loved Qekyo's "Dear Dream" and i kinda wanted to make another variation of it. it's nowhere near how amazing their's was but it was definitely inspired by it!! i also have been listening to driver's license on repeat so there are little bits of lyrics worked in here and there ;)
> 
> i really hope y'all enjoy this. i know it's short but i really am happy with this. i love those angsty stories so i have so much fun writing them. thank you for choosing to read my work, i appreciate every reader <3

I can’t drive past your house anymore.

It doesn’t matter if it will take me an extra thirty minutes to get to where I need to go. I’d rather drive hours out of my way so that I won’t have to see the porch light on outside, lighting up the same doorstep you kissed me on. I won’t do it. It hurts too much.

I remember the first day I picked you up after school, the hour after I passed my driver’s test. We planned it for weeks: I’d get to your house at 5, we’d go get milkshakes, drive around all afternoon, blasting music and singing it like it was our last day on earth. I remember it like it was yesterday. I wish I didn’t. I wish I could forget how your eyes sparkled from the sunset that lit up the dash of my dad’s car. I wish your laugh wasn’t on repeat in my head, every waking second of my fucking life. I wish it never happened. I wish I could forget you.

  
  
  
  


I can never play my favorite song without thinking of you. 

The one you always begged me to play, even if it was eight o’clock in the morning and I was half-asleep before school. It really was a good song. Before the thought of you smiling as you sang it with the summer wind in your chocolate hair ruined every line of it now. I tried playing it for the first time after you left. I had to pull over from all the tears blurring my vision. I never played it again.

I hate that part of me wishes you were back. With me. In my arms at 3 am, drunk on how happy and stupid and young we were. It felt so good then, so free. It was just you and me, nobody else, nothing else to distract us from each other. I would trade anything, give up everything I have in this stupid shitty world if it meant I could feel that again, against the warmth of your skin. The slow dances in the living room when our parents weren’t home. The nights I snuck out to lay with you all night, feeling your soft exhales against my chest. The white lies of going to get ice cream we told our parents to get an hour of privacy in the back of my car. Nothing else compares to how you make me feel. I don’t need anything if I could have you. You’re the only happiness I will ever need.

It started out like nothing I’d ever felt before. I never knew a boy could make me feel so alive. I got so nervous every time I saw you, even before you ever saw me. The first time I laid eyes on you that first day of high school, it felt like the whole world stopped, and nothing else mattered but you. Your smile. Your dark, glowing eyes. I knew from across the hallway that very moment that you would mean something to me, even if I would never mean something to you. But, eventually, I did. And I can still feel the flutter in my chest when my phone lit up after you texted me for the first time. I can still remember the small smiles after class, the notes you slipped in my locker. I kept every one. I still look at them and think of you. 

The little things turned into bigger ones, like when we went on our first date to the movies, and when my hand shook when it finally took yours. I was so scared, so nervous I would fuck something up, but it ended up being one of the best nights of my life. And the entire drive home, glancing over at you as you watched the streetlights pass overhead, I nearly ran us off the road because I’d never seen something as beautiful as you.

I never thought of myself as one for relationships. I thought I was more of a short-term type of person, never wanting to get attached too quickly. I learned that from my past. But when it came to you, everything was so easy. We could talk for hours about anything and everything. You were the best friend I never had, the rock I never knew I needed. I was so worried I would scare you away with the weight of my nomadic ways, how I never allowed myself to open up to anyone. But you slowly broke down those walls, helping me to love myself so that I could fully love someone else. I really loved you. I still do. And I hate it so fucking much.

  
  
  
  


I nearly threw away the notes you wrote me.

It was four in the morning. My body felt so heavy, sinking into the mattress below me. My eyes felt dried up, like they didn’t have any more tears left for me to cry. I’d tried everything. Watching netflix, listening to music. Drinking from the bottle we shared, tucked under my bed. But everything led back to you. Everything leads back to you. I can’t escape you. You’re everywhere: In the songs I play, on the roads I drive, in my dreams when I sleep. You’re still living in me, draining me of all the happiness you used to give me. I wanted it all to stop, wanted you gone from my memory. And in my hazy thoughts I took out the box with the things you left, the scraps of paper gathered in the bottom. I stared at it. I wanted to scream staring at the memories you left for me to carry, beating me down every second since you left. In that moment I hated you. I hated you for wanting me, for healing me, for loving me. And for breaking me again. I wanted you gone, forever. So I went outside despite the cold and readied myself for the pain. But when I got to the trash bin, I thought of the last note I would ever read from you.

_You’ll always be my favorite boy._

_-G_

And the tears came back again. I guess you didn’t mean what you said in those notes about me.

  
  
  
  


I still sleep in the hoodie you gave back to me.

I gave it to you the first week we started dating. Well, I wouldn’t say I gave it to you, you just looked too pretty in it for me to want it back. You wore it nearly every day to school, not caring if your friends made fun of you since it didn’t fit right. It made my knees weak when I watched you pull the sleeves over your delicate hands. You replaced its scent of plain laundry detergent with floral notes and warmth. Seeing you in it made me feel like I belonged to someone. Finally, I had a person I could call home. I didn’t have that until I met you.

I remember driving to your house one night after one of the hardest days I’d had. My parents and I fought all the time, but that night was one of the worst. I couldn’t stay there, I had to get out. You were the first person I always thought of when things got rough. You were my safety, my comfort. And you took me into your arms on your porch, not caring if my shoulders were soaked from the pouring rain, and that your shirt would be soaked from the tears on my face. I always felt like I belonged with you. You were the place I could go to when I felt I had nowhere else to go.

Until you weren’t.

It came out of nowhere. When you asked me to talk that afternoon, I thought it was a normal day. I picked up my keys and walked out to my car to drive to your house. I put on the same music we listened to together, happily humming the words that would forever exist in my mind. I was happy because I was on my way to see you. I would get to see your smiling face, hear your beautiful, clear voice. 

I never expected you to get in my car with tears streaming down your red cheeks. And my hoodie folded neatly in your lap. You couldn’t even look at me. I never want to feel the deep cut of fear that shot through every inch of me when I saw your troubled face. You told me that you were sorry, over and over. You wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say, what you wanted me to say, what I was supposed to say. I saw the very purpose of my being unraveling before me, telling me that they couldn’t be with me anymore. That they always wanted to be honest with me.

That there was someone else.

I couldn’t move. All of me was numb. I thought it was a dream, a horrible, terrible nightmare. But it wasn’t. You finally looked at me with those deep brown eyes, but they weren’t the ones I always knew and loved. 

You weren’t mine anymore. 

And I couldn’t bear it.

I remember you telling me to say something, anything. But I couldn’t even breathe. I just looked at you, knowing this would be the very last time I would. Everything I’d ever loved flashed before me. The laughs. The love. The joy you gave me. It all ended that day as the sun sank below the horizon, ending the last day I would ever feel true happiness. It all ended with you.

  
  
  
  


I still hear your voice in the traffic.

I remember one night in particular that we spent in my car. We told our parents that we were going to the library to work on a school project, but we’d made other plans. It was our one-year anniversary, and you being you, you wanted to make it special. You came out of your house with a big bag of stuff that you would unpack on the grass in the middle of the park under the stars. All of our favorite snacks sat on the thin blanket. You even got chocolate strawberries. But you said your favorite part was the roses I’d gotten you. 

I’d held you in my arms as we’d searched for constellations, our fingers laced together as we traced the Big Dipper. It was so perfect. You were so perfect. You felt so perfect. I’ll never forget how beautiful my shirt looked as it hung off your shoulders in the back of my car. We both got in trouble for being late, but we couldn’t care less. We were so stupidly in love. I’ll never forget how alive you made me feel.

  
  
  
  


I nearly collapsed on the pavement when I got your letter in the mail.

You had moved out of town, somewhere with tall buildings and bustling streets. You told me of the boy you chose after me, how it ended too quickly. It started off strong and sweet, the way we did before. But the fire and the romance dwindled, and you began to recognize your differences. You wrote that you couldn’t love him because all you could remember was me. You wrote that you missed me. That you hated yourself every day for hurting me. That you still loved me. That you never stopped. I didn’t know how hard I was crying until the tears stained the paper, nearly to illegibility. I felt like it was another dream, one that I would wake up from and stare at the blades of my fan with tired, sad eyes. But it wasn’t. You were still there. You still loved me. You wanted to come see me, if I still wanted to see you. I laughed at this, wiping my face with my palm. I’d wanted to see you ever since the day you left me.

  
  
  
  


That day felt like the beginning again. 

The light that had been out for all this time finally flickered to life again. I could finally be complete again, feel whole again. And ever since that day, ever since I felt alive again, I’ve never stopped loving the life I’ve been given. The life get to live with you. Life begins with you, George, and I’ll love every second of it if it means you’re in it too.

So as I’m finishing these letters that I started so long before, never having plans of completing, I watch your beautiful breaths escape your chest as you lay in our bed across from me. Though you will never read this, I hope that you will always carry my love with you as I carry yours, guarding my heart so that you will always live within it. I will never stop loving everything that you are, as you are the piece that completes me forever.


End file.
